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Trauma has become a buzzword, and I'm mighty grateful it is! Why? Because people are beginning to question their experience rather than settling for...
"I'm all alone."
"My friend/brother/sister experienced the same thing; why am I the only one struggling?"
"It's just stress."
Trauma is defined not in the event but in a person's response to the overwhelm inside them after the event. Typically, when we think of trauma, our mind goes to physical and sexual abuse, a violent attack, war or significant accidents. When a person experiences something like this, they know it! They know they are traumatised and know the reason why.
We can also experience trauma as anything that is too much, too soon, too fast or not enough than what our nervous system is prepared to cope with.
This might look like 'stress'.
Too much, too soon, too fast
Battling a life-threatening illness
Caring for a family member with special needs
Significant relationship breakup
Covid 19 pandemic
Work a demanding job
Financial problems
Poverty
Death of a loved one
Not enough
Emotional neglect in childhood
Achieving or progressing to the next level in terms of life, career and family
This ongoing and relentless stress, anxiety, a general lack of self-awareness and past traumas often result in a nervous system response of 'functional freeze', meaning you're still able to do the things expected of you day-to-day and even be quite successful, but internally, your nervous system is fried. It's an incredibly debilitating response to maintain! Being a mix of our Sympathetic (fight/flight) and Dorsal (shutdown) response, freeze is a combination of a lot of energy met with no energy at all; think of applying all your strength to try and move a brick wall, all day, every day. This is a common experience in today's busy world of productivity, expectation and little rest.
Some signs your nervous system has moved into this subconscious response are:
Muscle tension
Rigidity
Stuck
High alertness, on edge
Feeling frozen (like a deer in headlights)
Procrastination
Running on autopilot, getting things done but without being mentally present
Doing well in areas like work, where high performance can thrive alongside prolonged states of stress but feeling numb inside.
But why am I the only one struggling?
What might be traumatising for one might not be for another.
If we cannot fully process the emotions, feelings and sensations of an event as it occurs, they become stuck in the body as stored survival stress, and we remain in a state of active self-protection. While it's beautiful to have a nervous system whose sole purpose is to keep us safe, if it stays in a state of active self-protection, then we experience chronic stress and illness.
When it comes to trauma, no experience is less valid or less detrimental than another. We have no conscious control over our Autonomic Nervous System, and if it has to choose between your job or keeping you safe, or your relationship or keeping you safe, it will keep you safe every time without fail!
If you want to do some self-exploration into your nervous system states and trauma triggers, CLICK HERE to download my free guidebook.
Suppose you've read this, and it really resonates with you. You're not alone. I'm here to be part of your support system and help you understand how your body responds to stress and how to somatically work with these sensations and responses to build resilience, be in flow and fully engage in your life. CLICK HERE to arrange a free chat to get started.
Wishing you a day of regulation, Bridget xx.
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